Back to School

I've been out of my classroom for a week. My injury prevented me from being on my feet and for three days a team of teachers helped put together a variety of lesson plans for a mix matched group of subs.
Thursday I walked in to my classroom, to put in one day of teaching and to get a better feel for what was happening during my bed rest.
I walked in the room at 7:30am.

I burst into tears.

I couldn't picture the day in front of me. I couldn't make heads or tails of the notes left by subs. I felt tired.

And then I started organizing piles. I made lesson plans for the day. I limped around my room and picked up papers that had been left behind, straightened desks, and got my feel for the room again.

And I survived. My students sweetly expressed their worry for me. We caught up on assignments, I taught a new lesson on solving systems of equations with substitution. The day felt far from perfect. I couldn't move from desk to desk and answer questions. I reached a point of exhaustion by the end of day and had trouble staying cheerful for my last period. But I did it. I'm back.

I took off Friday, but I'll be back tomorrow (Monday) and ready to give it another try.

Late Night Dreams

School, just around the corner. How do I know? The school dreams have started. Dreams of the first day, a classroom in chaos. School dreams never show a perfect day, but show the worst case scenario. Last night I saw visions of the first day of school-- and I had done no preparation-- school started NOW.
No matter how many first days I have, the nerves never go away. I must be crazy, thinking I can get up in front of 32 people and keep order and teach math. Suddenly, in the light of day, it hits me how much needs to be done before one student sets a foot in my room. I learned, in my first year, that a less than perfect first day will be something that can haunt me all year long.
SO, tomorrow, I go to work. When the dreams start, it's time to take control. Tomorrow it's time to unpack boxes, think about systems for the year, and get a feel for what is to come. I'll meet with my teammates and start to plan our attack on the year. This, to me, marks the beginning.