I'm exhausted by budget talks. Budget talks. Budget talks end with lost jobs, lost pay, bigger classes, less supplies, more work and stress. So much stress. The cuts we must make will go so deep, will hurt so bad... I have trouble understanding how we come back to normal. Will there ever be normal again? Every time we cut, things don't come back in better times. We have rooms in our schools that were used for wood shop, home ec, photography... cut in hard times... and never back again. So when we lose media specialists, when classes go up to 38, 39, 40, 41... we will ever see a return to now? Or will this become the norm? I long for classes under 30. A classroom I can walk around easily in, the time to meet with each student, the energy to grade a set of tests in one evening. All I see ahead is exhaustion.
And with it all comes guilt. Guilt I can't be happy it's not worse. We're not losing 12 days like a near by district. We haven't all been fired like the teachers in New Jersey. We aren't left without a contract and about to strike like some other chapters in the state. We aren't wasting precious classroom time to fight for basic rights like the teachers in Wisconsin. But really-- if I'm supposed to be grateful because my district has managed to avoid falling that far into trouble-- we have depressingly low standards for what qualifies as job satisfaction for educators.
I love my job so much. I love being a teacher. I love it. And I'm good at it. But after meeting with the principal, meeting with the union, and meeting with the staff... all to discuss... really depressing prospects... I'm tired.
Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts
3.15.2011
3.04.2011
my first chance
NBC nightly news came to school today. And I interviewed about... I don't even know what. It was nerve wracking and crazy and I'm sure I said all the wrong things. But at the same time, I hope I represented my profession fairly and honestly. Because I hope I find many more opportunities to be an advocate for this profession I hold so dear.
But then it was over and I got back to the business of teaching. Copies. Seating charts. Grading. Meeting with kids who need a behavior reality check. Planning a department meeting. Getting emails sent out.
And oh yeah. At some point I actually had to teach. Excuse the cliche but thank GOODNESS it's Friday.
But then it was over and I got back to the business of teaching. Copies. Seating charts. Grading. Meeting with kids who need a behavior reality check. Planning a department meeting. Getting emails sent out.
And oh yeah. At some point I actually had to teach. Excuse the cliche but thank GOODNESS it's Friday.
1.12.2010
When the outside world comes in.
I knew, always, that I would work in public education.
There are special challenges that come with working in public education. Our doors are closed to nobody. In my classroom I have students with learning disabilities, autisim, high intelligence. Students who live in five bedroom homes, and students who live in shelters. My challenge, and my JOY is meeting the needs of each student. We don't select students based on applications or ability to pay.
But now, I am feeling the sting of being a public servant. At the whim of government budgets, suddenly I am preoccupied with measures that will directly effect the quality of education I can provide. Ballot measures are up for a vote and they will decide millions of dollars for already strapped schools. And I'm stressed about it.
The campaign against any tax increase always takes on a fierce and nasty tone in this state. Lies stream through the radio, villifyin public workers and government spending. I take it so so so personally. I AM that public worker. The running of schools is the government spending. These are not imaginary things. When people say they are voting no, I feel it deep in my heart. How could they NOT belive in public education? Why did I get that deep feeling of pride, while others only think of saving $140? (Really, that is what bussinesses would save in a year... and my district loses 19.2 million). I know some of the No votes are just misunderstandings of the law. But the rest just STINGS. It stings.
I love my job. But more than that, I am so proud to be working with each of my students, no matter what their strength or challenges.
It hurts when the public speaks against my work. These measures might pass... but the sting of the advertising and reporting against these measures stays with me for much to long.
There are special challenges that come with working in public education. Our doors are closed to nobody. In my classroom I have students with learning disabilities, autisim, high intelligence. Students who live in five bedroom homes, and students who live in shelters. My challenge, and my JOY is meeting the needs of each student. We don't select students based on applications or ability to pay.
But now, I am feeling the sting of being a public servant. At the whim of government budgets, suddenly I am preoccupied with measures that will directly effect the quality of education I can provide. Ballot measures are up for a vote and they will decide millions of dollars for already strapped schools. And I'm stressed about it.
The campaign against any tax increase always takes on a fierce and nasty tone in this state. Lies stream through the radio, villifyin public workers and government spending. I take it so so so personally. I AM that public worker. The running of schools is the government spending. These are not imaginary things. When people say they are voting no, I feel it deep in my heart. How could they NOT belive in public education? Why did I get that deep feeling of pride, while others only think of saving $140? (Really, that is what bussinesses would save in a year... and my district loses 19.2 million). I know some of the No votes are just misunderstandings of the law. But the rest just STINGS. It stings.
I love my job. But more than that, I am so proud to be working with each of my students, no matter what their strength or challenges.
It hurts when the public speaks against my work. These measures might pass... but the sting of the advertising and reporting against these measures stays with me for much to long.
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