spark

The weeks get long through September and October. There are few breaks and by October the honeymoon period passed long ago and we are truly into The Grind. Days end with me sitting in front of a desk covered with stacks of things I just don't want to deal with.
But then, there are these moments. These sparks that keep me going. Right now I'm well into a unit I particularly like. Square roots, Pythagorean Theorem, distance on a coordinate plan... some really wonderful topics that I've come to love teaching. Not only that, I believe I've become really GOOD at teaching this particular unit. I have a groove, a flow, a method to my madness.
So today, as we are working through problems, kids with mini whiteboards and me running around the room offering help, checking in, and having an all around good time, a student says, "It just really seems like you WANT us to learn."
Yeah. That felt good. Suddenly my tired feet were not so tired. Today, I just felt the good vibe in the room- like the students picked up on my desire for them to learn and love math and that vibe moved through them and radiated back to me.
And that's the spark that will get me through these next few dark and rainy weeks. Because, today it was a spark... but tomorrow... who knows?

The new year

It only takes four years to stop feeling like a first year teacher.

That sums up my theme for this year thus far. Where did this change come from? This shift from overwhelming work loads and constant uncertainty to confidence and daily love for my work. Is it me? Is it my students? Is it my co-workers?
I suddenly realized this is the kind of year I WANT to write about. I have 108 students that make me happy every day. I teach on a team with two teachers who make each day fun and exciting. I have finally reached a place where I see best practices at work in my classroom daily, and I see the results from that in every student who sits in my room.
Trimester one ended yesterday. I spent the morning going through my grade book and assigning As and Bs and the occasional C. But, yesterday, with my new found organization, I found time to write a comment about every student. Every one.
"Sara is a strong math student. She asks good questions every day"
"John works hard in this class. He always has his homework done on time"
"Margret has made a real change since we spoke on the phone. She is using class time wisely."
"Sam is a nice young man who gets distracted by his friends from time to time."
etc.
That information, however brief, provides so much more to parents than any letter I could stick on a report card. A, B, C... what do those even mean?
Now I'm teetering on the start of a new trimester and a new unit, all crammed into the awkward two weeks before winter break. I have some thinking to do this weekend as I plot out the next 10 school days. And I look forward to it. The planning, the plotting, the decisions about how to create daily meaningful learning. It's what makes my job the best job a person could ask for.

The shortest month...

...seems the longest. February.
Will spring ever be here? Will the days ever be longer? Will we ever all be cheerful again? I just get exhausted by this month, and it surprises me every time. Well... so we're on to March. Lions and Lambs. Spring break. Renewal. The final third of the year.

Right now I'm waiting on some huge transitions. I have students ready to run with Algebra- quadratics, multi-step equations, systems, and such. I have other students still unsure how to graph a linear function or what a variable is. In the last third of the year we will split classes and group students according to the skills they still need to be ready for their high school classes.
Up until now, my school does not track students. We do not split up math classes according to ability. The idea is that all students have access to all the math, but we provide scaffolding for students that need it. As mentioned in my last post, I love this system. Students that might struggle with adding fractions still have a chance to learn the Pythagorean theorem.
But in 8th grade, we have to split students eventually. Not all students go to the same high school class. So, each student has a different set of needs. And I'm feeling it. I'm looking forward to taking my group that seems so lost right now and working with them, creatively and carefully to find the key to their math learning success. I'm looking forward to racing through the big scary Algebra book with the other group.

Yup, it's February and things are getting stale. Time to start new with a new term and the joy of spring. I'm ready.

New Year, New Start... same old kids...

In just a few days I'll be back in the classroom. I'm rested, I'm ready, and I'm hoping for a snow day. That's just the way it goes.
The week before break proved to be as hard as every year. Something about THAT week, beyond all other weeks, just exhausts me. These two weeks off keep me sane. I rest. The students rest. We come back with new energy and enthusiasm.
There will be plenty to write and reflect on in the new year.
We got a new student before the break that will provide plenty to write about. Five days into his time at school and he has already been out of school suspended.
I have a student I want to get more special services for-- but it's going to mean some battles with red tape.
We have ballot measures that will determine how many days the doors of the school will stay open. (VOTE YES- 66 and 67.)
And always, there is the unknown. 2010--- here it comes.

Like any job...

Sunday nights, I can't imagine leaving the weekend and jumping back into the chaos of work. After three years I'm learning not to bring as much home (yes, I still grade papers at home... ). For two whole days I am separate from my life as teacher. I talk to grownups about grownup things. I drink wine. I take my time eating lunch (it can be hard to break the 20 minute lunch shovel). I do laundry... slowly. I see my family.
As I sit on couch, blues music in the background and a kitty in my lap, tomorrow seems so far away. To get through a day of teaching my brain and body move at full speed ALWAYS, so, to cope, I think I've finally found a way to slow myself way down when I'm out of the school environment.
I rest, I recover, and I let myself forget (in just 48 hours) the stress I felt Friday afternoon. In this way, I am able to get myself back in the classroom Monday morning energized and optimistic, ready to start the race through the week again.

Keeping out the crab

Every year there is one. Or two. Or three.
Those kids that just know how to make me growl and snarl and be a grouch.

Most days I can shrug, I can laugh, I can make it a teachable moment. The times when I find I can only glare and I can feel the hot fire boiling inside of me I know one thing: I. am. tired.
I want to blame that one. Or those two. Or the three talking students in the corner. BUT-
Feeling cranky has become my reality check. The truth remains that, from one day to the next, no student behaves especially better or worse than he or she did the day before. Yesterday Sam made funny noises during my lecture and yesterday Matt had a smart comment every time he raised his hand (but he raised his hand! This is progress!) and yesterday Grace kept talking to anyone near her and yesterday all that was fine.
Today, Sam behaves pretty much the same and today Matt makes comments just like before, and today Grace keeps up the constant chatter, but today it makes me crazy.
So see, after three years of teaching, I finally see. These bad days are all about me. Not the one, not the two, not the three students.
Today I felt too tired to shoot a quick comment back to Matt and today my mind just did not want to take Sam out to the hall to talk quietly and today Grace just made me crabby. The challenge becomes fighting the tired and giving the students the consistency they deserve in my temper and countenance. I have to go on the attack. To bed early tonight. Tomorrow I walk to school (I finally live close enough) and take the extra ten minutes to breath in fresh air and clear my head. I will remember to have some breakfast in the morning. I get my desk organized. I get caught up on grading.
When I am sane, I am happy. When I am happy, I don't snap at my wonderful students. When I don't snap at students the day and the learning and the week go so much nicer.