What WORKS

I love Hey Girl, Teacher. Recently I found this:

Love it. Except one thing. I think what I do, I think the path I have chosen and the final goal of closing the achievement gap turns out to be more difficult that what Felix accomplished. For one thing, his endeavor was fully funded. So what does that say about education? What does it say that the mission of success and academic growth for ALL students feels more daunting and more audacious than free falling from the stratosphere? 

I've hit a turning point in this year. In this broken year of job loss, transfers, confusion, stress and upset. I've reached the point where I can't be upset all the the time anymore. I've reached the point where I need to focus on what works and what I can control instead of looking at the bigger problems each day. The daily challenge of education remains too exciting, too vital, and too real to not be fully engaged in the process. If I truly believe that I come to work each day to increase learning for ALL (and I do) then I no longer have the luxury of focusing much attention on the broken pieces of the system. Maybe at a later point I will... but that day is not today. 

So I want to make the posts this year about What Works. Even in all the chaos, good things are happening and I'm learning and discovering new ways to connect math and kids. Right now few resources exist for the Math RTI world and so I'm forging ahead with a trail blazing attitude. And that's exciting. I will have the privileged of working with a wonderful team this year of other math intervention teachers. And i will be thoughtful and reflective about what WORKS to help these students of mine. Because I do believe every child can and will learn math. But to make it happen? To close that gap? It's a bigger jump than even Felix will ever know. 

schools in crisis

I'm exhausted by budget talks. Budget talks. Budget talks end with lost jobs, lost pay, bigger classes, less supplies, more work and stress. So much stress. The cuts we must make will go so deep, will hurt so bad... I have trouble understanding how we come back to normal. Will there ever be normal again? Every time we cut, things don't come back in better times. We have rooms in our schools that were used for wood shop, home ec, photography... cut in hard times... and never back again. So when we lose media specialists, when classes go up to 38, 39, 40, 41... we will ever see a return to now? Or will this become the norm? I long for classes under 30. A classroom I can walk around easily in, the time to meet with each student, the energy to grade a set of tests in one evening. All I see ahead is exhaustion.
And with it all comes guilt. Guilt I can't be happy it's not worse. We're not losing 12 days like a near by district. We haven't all been fired like the teachers in New Jersey. We aren't left without a contract and about to strike like some other chapters in the state. We aren't wasting precious classroom time to fight for basic rights like the teachers in Wisconsin. But really-- if I'm supposed to be grateful because my district has managed to avoid falling that far into trouble-- we have depressingly low standards for what qualifies as job satisfaction for educators. 

I love my job so much. I love being a teacher. I love it. And I'm good at it. But after meeting with the principal, meeting with the union, and meeting with the staff... all to discuss... really depressing prospects... I'm tired.