There are moments. Small ones. Unexpected. Unplanned. Moments when I remember why I got into teaching. I'm talking about the very very first reasons I got in to this job. Before I found a love of teaching Algebra. Before I realized I loved teaching middle school. Before I had a passion for imparting learning. Before all that. Freshman year of college. Picking a major. When I imagined I could make lives better. I could make students happy. I could, if I did this well enough, change the world. It didn't matter what subject I taught or even how I taught it. I just wanted to be a part of education.
It's not that I don't still hope for that. It's just, as I get deeper into the practice of education the focus of my passion has shifted. I think it had to. The hardest truth in teaching is that you can't save every child from the world just by wanting to. Not every student will love my course just because I care about them. The problems outside the classroom are big and so many lives, even in a nicer school like mine, are sad. It can consume me if I don't put a little distance between me and the outside world. So, I focus on what I can control. I can control the math. I can control the instruction. I can control my room. I make my classroom safe and I keep my standards high. And if I do my job well, I can give each student a fair and equitable shot at taking control of his or her life through a better education.
But then.....
one moment, one conversation, one goodbye reminds me that i am still effecting lives.
that i do more than teach math.
i can still give hope to students that feel hopeless.
suddenly the day stops. for just a moment. It gets real. i see a student clearly, really clearly, for the first time.
Then, I pull it together. Wipe away a few tears. Put my head up, put a smile on, and head back in to my classroom.
A moment like that feels so bittersweet. So full of regret, so full of hope. I am so thankful to this student, this unexpected student and this unexpected moment.
Showing posts with label students. Show all posts
Showing posts with label students. Show all posts
6.05.2012
11.02.2011
spark
The weeks get long through September and October. There are few breaks and by October the honeymoon period passed long ago and we are truly into The Grind. Days end with me sitting in front of a desk covered with stacks of things I just don't want to deal with.
But then, there are these moments. These sparks that keep me going. Right now I'm well into a unit I particularly like. Square roots, Pythagorean Theorem, distance on a coordinate plan... some really wonderful topics that I've come to love teaching. Not only that, I believe I've become really GOOD at teaching this particular unit. I have a groove, a flow, a method to my madness.
So today, as we are working through problems, kids with mini whiteboards and me running around the room offering help, checking in, and having an all around good time, a student says, "It just really seems like you WANT us to learn."
Yeah. That felt good. Suddenly my tired feet were not so tired. Today, I just felt the good vibe in the room- like the students picked up on my desire for them to learn and love math and that vibe moved through them and radiated back to me.
And that's the spark that will get me through these next few dark and rainy weeks. Because, today it was a spark... but tomorrow... who knows?
But then, there are these moments. These sparks that keep me going. Right now I'm well into a unit I particularly like. Square roots, Pythagorean Theorem, distance on a coordinate plan... some really wonderful topics that I've come to love teaching. Not only that, I believe I've become really GOOD at teaching this particular unit. I have a groove, a flow, a method to my madness.
So today, as we are working through problems, kids with mini whiteboards and me running around the room offering help, checking in, and having an all around good time, a student says, "It just really seems like you WANT us to learn."
Yeah. That felt good. Suddenly my tired feet were not so tired. Today, I just felt the good vibe in the room- like the students picked up on my desire for them to learn and love math and that vibe moved through them and radiated back to me.
And that's the spark that will get me through these next few dark and rainy weeks. Because, today it was a spark... but tomorrow... who knows?
10.11.2011
My Priveledge. NOT my Burden
I am a public educator. I work at a school that has embraced the philosophy that every child can learn and has a right to the highest possible rigor. I am trained in ways to meet the need of each child individually in my classroom. It is my responsibility and my privilege to teach every student in my room regardless of race, gender, socioeconomics, learning needs, sexual orientation, or any thing else under the moon.
You, the parent, have one child to worry about. To take care of. To guide through the crazy world of 8th grade. Leave the other 99 to me. DO NOT make excuses for your child based on the other students who are in my room. DO NOT let your child make excuses for him/herself because of the biases and perceptions he/she has of other students in the room. I guarantee you, those perceptions are wrong. I WILL NOT justify the number of brown kids in my room or the number of kids with and without learning disabilities.
I WILL talk about your child. I will talk about his or her learning needs and if they are being met. I will work with you and your child to ensure learning is happening and support exists in my room for him to be challenged every day... as long as he is willing to take on those challenges.
Do not assume you know my burden. It is not the kids with the IEPs. It is not the kids on TAG plans. It is not a single one of my students. They are my joy and my reason for showing up each day.
And guess what, that kid you son thinks is dumb, that kid with the autism that says funny things in class... yeah, she just kicked his butt on the last test... but I won't tell you that... that information is confidential and it's time for your son to worry about his own learning and his own ability.
You, the parent, have one child to worry about. To take care of. To guide through the crazy world of 8th grade. Leave the other 99 to me. DO NOT make excuses for your child based on the other students who are in my room. DO NOT let your child make excuses for him/herself because of the biases and perceptions he/she has of other students in the room. I guarantee you, those perceptions are wrong. I WILL NOT justify the number of brown kids in my room or the number of kids with and without learning disabilities.
I WILL talk about your child. I will talk about his or her learning needs and if they are being met. I will work with you and your child to ensure learning is happening and support exists in my room for him to be challenged every day... as long as he is willing to take on those challenges.
Do not assume you know my burden. It is not the kids with the IEPs. It is not the kids on TAG plans. It is not a single one of my students. They are my joy and my reason for showing up each day.
And guess what, that kid you son thinks is dumb, that kid with the autism that says funny things in class... yeah, she just kicked his butt on the last test... but I won't tell you that... that information is confidential and it's time for your son to worry about his own learning and his own ability.
4.21.2011
Plans for the Futur {part 1}
A student approached me with a black spiral notebook today. "This was left by someone." I grabbed it without paying much attention. My priorities lay in getting class started, greeting students as they come in, and just catching my breath between groups. As I headed to my desk to mark attendance in the computer, I glanced down. Etched into the front in ball point pen were the words, "Jennifer and Robins plans 4 the FUTUR" (yes, without an "E")
Further reading led to some of the most hilarious and, in many ways, the most touching student document I've ever had my hands on.
First: the Table of contents. Colored coded. Of course.
Did you see the key at the bottom?
Now. The serious Stuff. Page one. General ideas.
A little background. A week ago the science teacher took a note between the two girls. Robin was explaining to Jennifer what is great about college and what a "masters degree" is. It's this thing where you can study different topics, like art or computers. And Jennifer should get one. And they should get an apartment together. Etc. Etc. I believe from that note, this journal was born.
And this is just part 1. More to come. And don't you forget to visit YOUR friend's Grandma's every once in a while.
Further reading led to some of the most hilarious and, in many ways, the most touching student document I've ever had my hands on.
First: the Table of contents. Colored coded. Of course.
Now. The serious Stuff. Page one. General ideas.
A little background. A week ago the science teacher took a note between the two girls. Robin was explaining to Jennifer what is great about college and what a "masters degree" is. It's this thing where you can study different topics, like art or computers. And Jennifer should get one. And they should get an apartment together. Etc. Etc. I believe from that note, this journal was born.
And this is just part 1. More to come. And don't you forget to visit YOUR friend's Grandma's every once in a while.
4.01.2011
Yup, this is what I'm meant to do.
"Alice laughed: "There's no use trying," she said; "one can't believe impossible things."
"I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."Alice in Wonderland.
Yes. This week came together so beautifully. So splendidly. So wonderfully. And yes, I have fantastic students this year that just go with things and work hard and get the job done. But even so, I'm going to take most the credit for this week. Because this week, in my classroom, I proved why not just anyone can do this job. Why it takes training, practice, and specialization to really teach and to really teach well. Yes. I'm tooting my own horn. toot. toot.
This week I looked across a room of 30 some students and for five days each student worked on assignments tailored for him or her. Every student worked at his or her own pace. Every student got attention from me. Every student showed growth. And it seemed to me that every student felt success. Even I, with all the planning I put into this week, never thought it would go THIS well.
A little background. This is 8th grade. At my school every student takes the same math and learns the same things until the very last trimester of 8th grade when we split students based on the high school class they are going to. Many students will go on to Geometry next year, but about 40% who have struggled with the math this year will take Algebra next year. This does not reflect poorly on the student. Geometry is considered ahead of grade level. My school paves a different path than other schools by pushing every student to the highest level until the last moment possible.
But the fact remains, I have one class(those students that are bound for Algebra) that now has a WIDE range of abilities and has ALL of my lowest students, where before those students were spread out in all my classes. I have students that are behind by many grade levels and students that are almost geometry ready but just need a little more practice to get the foundations in place.
It presents a challenge. The greatest kind of challenge. The kind of challenge that any passionate teacher should get excited about (even if they get exhausted by it) HOW DO I MEET THE NEEDS OF EVERY LEANER? How to I let the high kids fly ahead and explore topics deeply? How do I provide the review and concepts for the students who struggle not just with math but with reading, writing, social skills, motivation, etc, etc. And how do I do it in a way that allows me to keep my sanity? I can't sit down at 4:00pm every night and make 35 lesson plans. But at the same time, I need a system that allows for 35 different abilities.
And this week I did it! The unit was solving equations. I made use of every resource I have. The help I get for 20 minutes three days a week from the ESL aid. And the help I get from the SPED teacher for 30 minutes three days a week. They were kept busy. I sent out a call for computers sitting in classrooms and managed to put together a "mini lab" of five ancient computers that I start up when I first get to school because they take 20 minutes to boot up. (Not to mention, they are squeezed into a corner of my packed classroom... but they are there! And working!) I had files of assignment choices at all levels, every student had a plan that was partially taylored by me based off of pre-tests, but also allowed for choice on his or her side.
Yup, this week felt great. It all worked. Crossing my fingers for success again next week. But seriously. I wish I could show this to the public. The careful planning, the execution, the work that goes into a truly successful classroom. I am public education. Hear me roar.
"I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."Alice in Wonderland.
Yes. This week came together so beautifully. So splendidly. So wonderfully. And yes, I have fantastic students this year that just go with things and work hard and get the job done. But even so, I'm going to take most the credit for this week. Because this week, in my classroom, I proved why not just anyone can do this job. Why it takes training, practice, and specialization to really teach and to really teach well. Yes. I'm tooting my own horn. toot. toot.This week I looked across a room of 30 some students and for five days each student worked on assignments tailored for him or her. Every student worked at his or her own pace. Every student got attention from me. Every student showed growth. And it seemed to me that every student felt success. Even I, with all the planning I put into this week, never thought it would go THIS well.
A little background. This is 8th grade. At my school every student takes the same math and learns the same things until the very last trimester of 8th grade when we split students based on the high school class they are going to. Many students will go on to Geometry next year, but about 40% who have struggled with the math this year will take Algebra next year. This does not reflect poorly on the student. Geometry is considered ahead of grade level. My school paves a different path than other schools by pushing every student to the highest level until the last moment possible.
But the fact remains, I have one class(those students that are bound for Algebra) that now has a WIDE range of abilities and has ALL of my lowest students, where before those students were spread out in all my classes. I have students that are behind by many grade levels and students that are almost geometry ready but just need a little more practice to get the foundations in place.
It presents a challenge. The greatest kind of challenge. The kind of challenge that any passionate teacher should get excited about (even if they get exhausted by it) HOW DO I MEET THE NEEDS OF EVERY LEANER? How to I let the high kids fly ahead and explore topics deeply? How do I provide the review and concepts for the students who struggle not just with math but with reading, writing, social skills, motivation, etc, etc. And how do I do it in a way that allows me to keep my sanity? I can't sit down at 4:00pm every night and make 35 lesson plans. But at the same time, I need a system that allows for 35 different abilities.
And this week I did it! The unit was solving equations. I made use of every resource I have. The help I get for 20 minutes three days a week from the ESL aid. And the help I get from the SPED teacher for 30 minutes three days a week. They were kept busy. I sent out a call for computers sitting in classrooms and managed to put together a "mini lab" of five ancient computers that I start up when I first get to school because they take 20 minutes to boot up. (Not to mention, they are squeezed into a corner of my packed classroom... but they are there! And working!) I had files of assignment choices at all levels, every student had a plan that was partially taylored by me based off of pre-tests, but also allowed for choice on his or her side.
Yup, this week felt great. It all worked. Crossing my fingers for success again next week. But seriously. I wish I could show this to the public. The careful planning, the execution, the work that goes into a truly successful classroom. I am public education. Hear me roar.
11.30.2009
How do you prove you can...
What is something at which you KNOW you are good? Anything... cooking, golf, keeping house, your job, soccer, reading.... got something in your head?Okay.... how do you know you are good at it? How do other people know you are good at it? How many times do you have to do something well to prove you are good at it? Were you always good at it... or are you constantly improving (or getting worse) at this skill?
I've taken on the awesome challenge of proficiency grading. This means that, along with the traditional grade (and don't get me started on how awful those are) I will have a list of ten 8th grade math learning targets (determined by the state and the district) from this term with a judgment on my part reflecting the student's current understanding of that target. I base this judgment on collections of evidence, multiple opportunities to prove mastery, and my daily workings with the students. I am, in theory, letting students and their families know at exactly WHAT they are good.
What does this mean tonight? Pouring over my records of students attempts at things like simplifying square roots, justifying a choice of graph for a data set, and using the Pythagorean Theorem. From this I determine , at this moment of time, on the continuum from Novice to Proficient, where each student is performing.
Someday I hope I can just send out the proficiencies. A list of math skills that every 8th grader should know and then a note explaining to each parent which targets (skills) his or her child has mastered. WHO CARES about a grade? When students comes to my class I want to know what they know, I want to know what they DON'T know so I can help them. A, B, C, D, F tells me none of that. Proficiency reporting does.
Grades are due tomorrow.
So what I'm doing writing this? I have work to do!
11.09.2009
Impulsive
I have never (Never!) and so many impulsive students as I seem to this year. And all in one class (perhaps the behavior becomes exaggerated in students because of being in a class with others like this?)!
How do I describe it? It's constant noises, blurts, blahs, humms, eeks. Random words, bits of songs, a short thought.
Today I introduced a short movie clip about the Pythagorean theorem. I talked about the song, the movie, the actors, etc. All over, the constant buzzing this class always has. I pushed on:
Me: "So, this clip is from an older movie..."
Student: "Leave it to Beaver!"
Student: "Beaver?"
Student: "I like TV!"
Me: "No, an old movie, in fact it has an actor that was also in the film White Christmas"
Student: "Snow!"
Student: "For white people?"
Student: "I love that movie!"
Me: "Okay, let's just start"
The strange part- it really seems to just be an inability to filter from their brains to their mouths. I've had the mean kids that want to run the class, I've had the kids that just want to goof off... but that's not it this year. This is one of the nicest groups, this group is always enthusiastic about learning and ready for just about anything I throw at them. They just don't stop making noise. EVER. EVER. So, I keep it to a dull rumble or buzz about the room and I move on. But GOODNESS, it can wear a gal out.
How do I describe it? It's constant noises, blurts, blahs, humms, eeks. Random words, bits of songs, a short thought.
Today I introduced a short movie clip about the Pythagorean theorem. I talked about the song, the movie, the actors, etc. All over, the constant buzzing this class always has. I pushed on:
Me: "So, this clip is from an older movie..."
Student: "Leave it to Beaver!"
Student: "Beaver?"
Student: "I like TV!"
Me: "No, an old movie, in fact it has an actor that was also in the film White Christmas"
Student: "Snow!"
Student: "For white people?"
Student: "I love that movie!"
Me: "Okay, let's just start"
The strange part- it really seems to just be an inability to filter from their brains to their mouths. I've had the mean kids that want to run the class, I've had the kids that just want to goof off... but that's not it this year. This is one of the nicest groups, this group is always enthusiastic about learning and ready for just about anything I throw at them. They just don't stop making noise. EVER. EVER. So, I keep it to a dull rumble or buzz about the room and I move on. But GOODNESS, it can wear a gal out.
10.19.2009
Keeping out the crab
Every year there is one. Or two. Or three.
Those kids that just know how to make me growl and snarl and be a grouch.
Most days I can shrug, I can laugh, I can make it a teachable moment. The times when I find I can only glare and I can feel the hot fire boiling inside of me I know one thing: I. am. tired.
I want to blame that one. Or those two. Or the three talking students in the corner. BUT-
Feeling cranky has become my reality check. The truth remains that, from one day to the next, no student behaves especially better or worse than he or she did the day before. Yesterday Sam made funny noises during my lecture and yesterday Matt had a smart comment every time he raised his hand (but he raised his hand! This is progress!) and yesterday Grace kept talking to anyone near her and yesterday all that was fine.
Today, Sam behaves pretty much the same and today Matt makes comments just like before, and today Grace keeps up the constant chatter, but today it makes me crazy.
So see, after three years of teaching, I finally see. These bad days are all about me. Not the one, not the two, not the three students.
Today I felt too tired to shoot a quick comment back to Matt and today my mind just did not want to take Sam out to the hall to talk quietly and today Grace just made me crabby. The challenge becomes fighting the tired and giving the students the consistency they deserve in my temper and countenance. I have to go on the attack. To bed early tonight. Tomorrow I walk to school (I finally live close enough) and take the extra ten minutes to breath in fresh air and clear my head. I will remember to have some breakfast in the morning. I get my desk organized. I get caught up on grading.
When I am sane, I am happy. When I am happy, I don't snap at my wonderful students. When I don't snap at students the day and the learning and the week go so much nicer.
Those kids that just know how to make me growl and snarl and be a grouch.
Most days I can shrug, I can laugh, I can make it a teachable moment. The times when I find I can only glare and I can feel the hot fire boiling inside of me I know one thing: I. am. tired.
I want to blame that one. Or those two. Or the three talking students in the corner. BUT-
Feeling cranky has become my reality check. The truth remains that, from one day to the next, no student behaves especially better or worse than he or she did the day before. Yesterday Sam made funny noises during my lecture and yesterday Matt had a smart comment every time he raised his hand (but he raised his hand! This is progress!) and yesterday Grace kept talking to anyone near her and yesterday all that was fine.
Today, Sam behaves pretty much the same and today Matt makes comments just like before, and today Grace keeps up the constant chatter, but today it makes me crazy.
So see, after three years of teaching, I finally see. These bad days are all about me. Not the one, not the two, not the three students.
Today I felt too tired to shoot a quick comment back to Matt and today my mind just did not want to take Sam out to the hall to talk quietly and today Grace just made me crabby. The challenge becomes fighting the tired and giving the students the consistency they deserve in my temper and countenance. I have to go on the attack. To bed early tonight. Tomorrow I walk to school (I finally live close enough) and take the extra ten minutes to breath in fresh air and clear my head. I will remember to have some breakfast in the morning. I get my desk organized. I get caught up on grading.
When I am sane, I am happy. When I am happy, I don't snap at my wonderful students. When I don't snap at students the day and the learning and the week go so much nicer.
9.14.2009
I see their True Colors shining
Every class has a personality- the whole, the group, the mass. How does that happen? How does the group take on unique traits?
Today I had students find their True Colors. Students rate this and that, likes and dislikes, add here and tally there and suddenly a color appears and students split into four nice personality groups. I love this activity. I wait for it every year and see if my take on each group can be matched by the colors---
My morning group - from day one, sweet, full of inquiry, polite. We have class discussions and people raise hands and offer insight. We finish right on time. When we get out planners to write homework, I see busy pencils filling in the blank next to math. This group has the most BLUES . Check!
My after lunch group- little noises all the time, if I'm not careful they'll soon drive me crazy. High energy, full of chatter. Every comment from me sets off 10 separate conversations around the room. They do better in groups. Note taking days will be like pulling teeth. This group has mostly REDS. Check!
My last group of the day- they get it done. Yes, energy, but mostly focus. They want directions, they want the work, and they want to get going. Class discussion falls short, people don't want to raise their hands, they just want to get ON with it. This group has more GOLD than I've ever had. Check!
Who knows what the kids take from this. We talk about group dynamics, knowing yourself and knowing your classmates. For me though, this is a treasure. I have numbers to back up my gut. When I plan lessons I can remember my REDS, and include something active. I can remember my BLUES and plan group sharing time. I can remember my GOLDS and have directions on the board, ready to go when they walk in. It gives me the power. Power. Without letting on to my students that I hold the strings.
Today I had students find their True Colors. Students rate this and that, likes and dislikes, add here and tally there and suddenly a color appears and students split into four nice personality groups. I love this activity. I wait for it every year and see if my take on each group can be matched by the colors---
My morning group - from day one, sweet, full of inquiry, polite. We have class discussions and people raise hands and offer insight. We finish right on time. When we get out planners to write homework, I see busy pencils filling in the blank next to math. This group has the most BLUES . Check!
My after lunch group- little noises all the time, if I'm not careful they'll soon drive me crazy. High energy, full of chatter. Every comment from me sets off 10 separate conversations around the room. They do better in groups. Note taking days will be like pulling teeth. This group has mostly REDS. Check!
My last group of the day- they get it done. Yes, energy, but mostly focus. They want directions, they want the work, and they want to get going. Class discussion falls short, people don't want to raise their hands, they just want to get ON with it. This group has more GOLD than I've ever had. Check!
Who knows what the kids take from this. We talk about group dynamics, knowing yourself and knowing your classmates. For me though, this is a treasure. I have numbers to back up my gut. When I plan lessons I can remember my REDS, and include something active. I can remember my BLUES and plan group sharing time. I can remember my GOLDS and have directions on the board, ready to go when they walk in. It gives me the power. Power. Without letting on to my students that I hold the strings.
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